Last week during my first online webinar, one of the participants asked, “What if I love myself but I am still angry that I did not get the love from my parents that I needed and wanted?” It was a great question that led to an entire diatribe about how to heal our old wounds.
Regardless of where you may be on your own evolutionary path, you will have work to do to heal the wounds from your family of origin. Some of you may have more or less work to do on this continuum depending on how much work you have already done on yourself. But as far as I can see, we all have a lot of work to do to heal ourselves.
What I also found very interesting after I pondered on the webinar and my comments that day is that I believe that what we all need to do in the United States is to follow these exact same points for the healing offered through these turbulent times.
#1: Denial. Most of your first reactions to family situations is denial. Most of you have a great loyalty and love for your parents and siblings. So, you tend to want to protect them by denying the truth. So you invent stories:
My parents weren’t that bad. They did the best they could. They just didn’t have the time because they were too busy making the money to support us.
If you know me and have worked with me, you know the last thing I am trying to do is to get you to love your family any less. I am not getting you to put the blame on your parents. All I am trying to get you to do is to tell yourself the truth. As you tell yourself your truth, you come out of denial and into reality. Then you have a firm place to stand on to begin to heal.
Unless you speak your truth you have no way to begin to heal.
#2: Truth. Once you have told your truth and been witnessed, you often find that anger and rage will rise within you. Your anger rises to the surface and it must be dealt with on every level: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual in order to be fully examined, understood and released. It is not enough to say, I am angry, you must feel it. Once you are able to feel it, you must release it both mentally and physically. Then, you must give yourself permission to have your anger and not judge it as bad, inappropriate, silly, condemning, mean or wrong on any level.
What you judge, you can not heal.
#3: Emotions. Once you have sufficiently released your anger, you will notice that either fear, sadness, or grief will arise. As with the anger, you will need to work through all of your fear, sadness, and grief so that you eventually release it from your body and being. To begin, speaking with a therapist, a cherished safe, wise friend about your fears, sadness, and grief is a great place to begin. Then when you are ready to begin to clear it from your body, working with a gifted practitioner is a great way to release it from your body.
#4: Creativity. Using any and all forms of your creative expression is an amazing avenue for healing. Sit quietly and ask your highest self: “What creative expression would help me to heal now? The reason I put in the word, Now, is that over time different forms of creative expression will be useful in your healing journey. Don’t get stuck in one avenue of expression.
At times, 3D art has been so helpful for me, at other times, writing, dance, or singing. Find the “right” avenue for that particular expression. In some moments, I need very active large swoops of movement to move anger through my body while at other times I need a gentle place to be while I work with my grief. Every emotional expression will require a different form of creative expression. You want to be open to the tool that will best move that particular emotional expression.
#5: Healing Resources. There are many avenues for healing these days. I will mention a few that have worked beautifully for me. Journaling is a great tool to hear yourself and learn more about your feelings. Network Chiropractic, Polarity Therapy, Cranial Therapy, EMDR, Acupuncture, Somatic Therapy and many other forms will work beautifully to help you to release old emotions from your body.
Please use this information with compassion. You are exactly where you need to be on your transformational journey back to your own source, your true soul self. Do not compare yourself with anyone else. It is not divine to compare as you are your own unique expression of God (or Spirit or however else you say that). There is no one else like you on this planet, nor will there ever be! How wonderful!
Enjoy your amazingness! Look for it daily! See it in all your actions! See how profoundly you touch those around you. There is no one else quite like you. You are a unique light! Shine your light!
It is most needed!
I hope you have found this helpful. I’d love to hear if you have any questions and if this resonated with you or got you moving! I certainly hope so!
PS Here’s the replay to the Self Love Workshop. Let me know if you have questions or what was helpful by posting below.